Naked Russians and Bad Roads - Lake Baikal

Once again we boarded an early train headed to Irkutsk  and then via minibus where to Olkhon Island on Lake Baikal. We ended up with an older train car (although the others were newer), even though we were on the much talked about “Baikal Express.” Our two and a half day trip ahead of us, we settled in and quickly made friends with a Russian family two doors down (we had the berth to ourselves this time). Natasha, her 15 year old daughter Veronika and nine year old son Sergie (also their Chihuahua “Boomi”) were a ton of fun. Using a computer translator we talked on and off the entire trip, played UNO, shared food (consisting of oats and powdered chocolate, sausage, cucumber, fruit, nuts, cookies, bread and ramen), showed them photos of our trip and Chicago, and traded music.





The next morning we got a slow start and “tried” to catch up on all the pictures and blog posts, but at times it seems an insurmountable task (hence we’re still way behind). That afternoon we again hung out with our friends a few berths down and reset our time again since Irkutsk is 3 hours earlier than Ekaterinburg (our fourth time change in Russia) and 14 hours before Texas. We were in the middle of no-where headed to the middle of no-place.

Upon arrival in Irkutsk we were in a time crunch to get to our minibus to Olkhon so we had no choice but to take a “rip off” taxi (never trust a Russian taxi) L; still he got us to the minibus, for our six hour ride at high speeds on bumpy paved roads followed by bumpier unpaved roads. We made good time, got an early ferry and arrived at Nikkita’s Place (a tourist/hiker compound) by 6PM. Little did we know one of our most memorable experiences awaited us that evening!



Once we dropped of our bags we decided to relax in the compound’s free Russian Banya (i.e., a steam/sauna room with an attached wash room and dry room). Unfortunately for us the free room was either not working or a sad example because it the temperature was luke warm without no steam. So while we were standing around trying to understand what to do, we saw a Russian guy in a towel going in and out of the paid banya. We asked his opinion and he said that we’d get sick if we took a bath in there! Five minutes later he invited us to share a real banya experience with him and his girlfriend. So here’s how you do the Russian banya experience, in case you’re ever in for such an awesome situation:

1. Get invited by a friendly Russian who knows what they are doing (important because even though you’re reading these instructions, you need someone with experience)
2. Get naked and wrap with towel
3. Get in Banya room (without steam just 130-140°C) with said naked Russian friend(s)
4. Sweat
5. And sweat some more (no more than 5 minutes total)
6. Get out of Banya room and cool face with cold water in the wash room
7. Sit outside in the dry room or outside the building and re-hydrate by drinking water and chatting with new friends
8. Go back into hot Banya room and throw water on stones to create steam (let the experienced person do this so you don’t literally kill yourself)
9. Lie down on towel with back in the air (yes this means you will be showing your new Russian friend your bare bum)
10. Allow fellow naked Russian friend (they’ve also lost the towel because it’s too damn hot) beat you with a hot-water soaked Birch Switch (young birch branches with leaves still attached) for five minutes. Ok, so you might be getting scared at this point. Here’s a breakdown of what you will experience:
• First they will waft the birch over you creating hot air. This seems nice but it’s a trick before the pain.
• Then they will stroke you all over softly spreading the hot water. Again, this seems nice at first but you’ll soon learn your fate.
• They will beat you (swatting the skin is supposed to help open the skin pores) on your legs and up to your shoulders repeatedly (even asking you to lift your legs so that the feet can be better accessed). At this point you may cry, it’s ok. If at any point you feel dizzy, there’s a cold water bucket for you to splash on your face.
• Finally they will also hold the Birch on your back, or in the back of your knee (leaving it there is supposed to help your skin take on the cleansing oils from the Birch). This is exceptionally painful. Word of Caution: Screaming “Nyet, Nyet” (“No, No”) will result in your Russian “friend” pressing harder and responding with “Da, Da” (“Yes, Yes”).
• Then you turn around and cover your “sensitive” areas before getting the same treatment in the front. Try not to stare at your naked Russian friend, it’s impolite.
• Lastly, the switch is pressed to your face while you inhale deeply.
11. Get down from the bench slowly but head to the wash room quickly. Dump at least two buckets of cold water over your head and then rest and re-hydrate in the dry room.
12. Step 10 is repeated one or two more times but for 10 minutes each and usually with the beating getting a stronger
13. To wrap it up, go wash with cold or warm water and soap in the wash room.
14. Tada you are now a Russian Banya survivor. Depending on your pain tolerance, you may or may not recall all of it.

As for us, we both emerged with a love for the Russian banya. It’s an incredible way to make friends, given that being naked and drenched in sweat really breaks the ice! It’s also very effective at relaxing the muscles, letting go of any tension, and opening the pores. After our trial by fire, we felt limp and relaxed like a couple of wet noodles. To thank our new friends we invited them for a beer and shared our nuts and cucumber (ok that sounds like a bad joke but that’s really what we had). It turns out Pablo is big into bike racing and hiking and will be traveling to Argentina and Chile around the same time as us! With any luck we hope to meet him along the way.

The next morning we struck out on an off-road Russian jeep tour with eight other tourists (new respect for these vehicles). It was amazing to see some of the “trenches” that were considered roads (unfortunately the bumpy ride negated our relaxing Banya experience and we were all tense afterwards just happy to have survived – yup there is video of this adventure for those who want to see it). Our jeep tour included lots of awesome views, wild mushrooms, former Stalin gulag and fish factory and legendary / mythical rock formations. The formations all had their own legends associated with them including where three sons were turned into three rocks, where you can wish for a boy or girl child and where children are lured away by a babushka for weeks at a time. We also saw a bit of wildlife, including the Sousils (prairie dog), a rabbit, cows, wild horses and woodpeckers (wolves ate the majority of small animals a few years back). The next day we explored the town, some nearby cliffs and beaches, but headed back since the north wind was quite cold and the water was icy (no we ended up not swimming in the frigid waters, yes it’s lame). And sadly that was the end of our stay as the following day we caught our six hour bus ride back to Irkutsk, did some quick grocery shopping, crowded onto the local tram / bus and pushed our way off at the train station heading towards Ulaanbaatoor, Mongolia.





Although Lake Baikal was definitely a beautiful place, its vastness is difficult to convey or comprehend. In addition, the number of tourists and jeep excursions (at least where we were) diminishes what should be a feeling of near isolation. If we were to visit again, we would opt to see the edges of the lake rather than the island, and thus keeping out of the tourist / backpacker circuit. Next Up: Six days touring central Mongolia.